So far people have really like the album I'm currently working on, and I'm grateful for all the feedback! I personally think it's my best work, and I want to look at it in a vacuum and think of it as the perfect album for me.
The gist is it's mostly about my break up but there are a few other themes sprinkled in. It's been therapeutic to work on, although there might be a delay in when a certain song comes out as it's difficult for me to sing, although attempting to sing it inspired other songs on the album. I aim for it to be in stores next month.
The "story" of the album for those interested: The album starts with an intro to almost set the character, which well it's based off myself, the character is representative of how I see myself at different times so it's less of me and more of how I see me. The song basically describes the narrator as a musician that feels that attention is the only time they feel cared about. It is the start of the album, but it almost takes place in a vacuum outside of the events of the album, looking at it in a retrospective sense.
The plan is then to have a song called "Gray Stars" which is one of the most beautiful songs on the album albeit the hardest for me to sing. It was written months ago and was going to be an anniversary gift amongst other things to my lover at the time, so I'm trying my best to keep it from that time period and leave out the sadness and cheating. So that's the difficult part as each time I do that it almost derails me with the ideas of how things were so perfect back then and how I'd die to go back if I could.
It then goes into a "crash song" (Striped and Frayed) which describes the narrartor as being reliant on pills for a short amount of time to feel motivated to work on their art, as well as the depression they battle pushing them to self harm, interact with creeps on the internet for attention, and an eating disorder. It is one of the lowest moments of the album.
The narrator starts to realize that their former love only wants to hurt them now (take your shot) and they have to grasp the concept of their ex being vindictive when they felt connected for years and planned a future together.
One of my favorites (I wanna die) is about me (lets be real, I'm sick of typing the narrartor everytime and it's essentially about me the entire time) having to cope with the idea my love is never coming back. It was honestly one of the most therapeutic songs to write. I then realize that I'm alone as the one person I thought would always be there is gone forever, and even if we both tried to fix things it would never be the same and the only thing i could spurt was the concept "I wanna die."
This next one (Ash Snorting) is very spiteful. It's about a relationship with an abusive and manipulative friend, and is almost the push back against them. In basically a long winded slam poem it's essentially me breaking free as my own person and criticizing them.
Goldenrod, one of my favorites. It's about my trip to Kentucky to get away from the thoughts in my head. I was in a basement with only a guitar and I would often watch the rain from an enclosed glass porch. I wrote several songs while down there and is the reason most of this album has an acoustic guitar. It cleared my mind a lot to be there, an almost temporary escape from a life I was wrapped in.
there's plenty more that are untitled as they're still unrecorded so I'll just loosely describe some themes.
A song where I finally come to fully cope with having had lost the love of my life, with the idea they're never coming back, and that I just have to move on and live with myself, hoping they come back, but not relying on it. It's probably my favorite song in the album tho the darkest, not because it's sad or over the top, but because it's reality.